Monday, July 16, 2012

Confessions of a 70% Introvert

I have a confession, announcement, whatchamacallit to make. Wait for it...

I am an introvert. To be exact (according to some test I took once when I was bored) 70% introverted.

Now, some people regard labels like "introvert" and "extrovert" offensive. Don't try to stick people in little boxes! It's just wrong!

On a certain level, I agree. I don't just like one thing, or one genre, or have only shy feelings and moods all the time. However, introversion is quite frankly a "box" I don't mind being in...because it's my personality.

To me, most of the things listed in the picture above are absolutely in my comfort zone. I prefer situations that have a program. I need to think. I really need to observe in new situations. If I could enter a room and literally be a fly on the wall for the first 15 minutes of being there, I would be completely comfortable with that. Entering as a life-size human is a little disconcerting, and sometimes, rather frightening--for me.

Unfortunately, God didn't give us humans tiny little bodies with strange little television-store eyes and veiny wings... so it would appear that life is often configured for the "extrovert."

There are new situations that fly by much too fast, but of which one must grab hold. New places, new situations...they don't always allow for observations and mulled-over thoughts. Meeting people, especially, can be difficult, since it is generally considered impolite to stare a hole right through them. You may be studying them and coming to conclusions or even just trying to figure out something to say..but take my word for it, they'll find it awkward.

If it wasn't for that left-over 30% of non-shyness, for which I can only credit God, I don't know what I'd do. Or be. Probably friendless. I'm pretty blessed to be able to force myself to overcome my shyness, difficult though it may be--also to have a family who helps force me to meet people and friends who are forgiving. I've often emerged the better off for it, with rich experiences and a wonderful handful of friends.

I'm still working on my natural state and the negative consequences, as there are always bound to be some. But I try to walk in the determination that I am my own person, and capable of overcoming any situation I choose, uncomfortable though I may feel.  But I also embrace the fact that I really don't need to be in the center of the social circle or conversation, and am naturally shy.

To close, here is one thing that kind of makes me wish I was an extrovert. But maybe I'll do them anyway, mostly because I have an outgoing best friend, and it's always fun to share a laugh with her. Or maybe this is just too much. ;)

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