50 Facts About Texas

If you, my friend, are from Texas, the chances are great that you may have, at some point, seen this list. But I can't help but repost my favorite Texan witticisms. So here we go: 50 things about Texas.


1) You see more Texan than American flags.


2)You prefer Whataburger to McDonald's. 


3)You're disappointed when food doesn't come in a spicy flavor.


4)You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards.


5)Your local grocery store sells cactus in the fresh produce section. (If I looked hard enough, I'm sure I could find some.)


6)You know whether another Texan is from South, West, East or Central Texas just as soon as they open their mouths.


7)You don't consider people from Austin to be real Texans.


8)Your Pastor wears boots. Not at every church, but it's happened.
9)Roadrunners don't say "Beep, beep." Honestly, cross my heart and hope to die.


10) There are 5,000 types of snakes. 4,998 live in Texas.


11)There are 10,000 types of spiders. 10,002 live in Texas.


12)If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites.


13) Fire ants consider your flesh a picnic.


14) People actually grow and eat okra.


15)You measure distance in minutes. And hours.

16)You've had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day.


17) You have A/C. Everyone has A/C. A/C means survival. (You may contend that the American Indians and the pioneers lived without it. To the latter, I say "are you sure about that?" To the former....have you ever been in an adobe house? It's freezing. Adobe almost works better than A/C.)


18) Texas has four seasons: Almost summer, Summer, Still summer and Christmas.


19) Going to Walmart is known as going to Wally World.


20) You define a cold snap as sub-70 degrees Farenheit. 


21)You don't have soda, pop, or cola. It's a Coke, and the best kind is Dr. Pepper. 


22)You don't associate bridges (or rivers, for that matter) with water.


23) You can say 110 degrees without fainting.


24)You know that the seatbelt could work as a branding iron.


25)You know that you can sunburn through the window, and that the best parking space is under the tree, not next to the building.


26)You can drive all day and not leave the state. 


27) You shop at H-E-B (Here, Everything's Better).


28)You've eaten tacos for breakfast. (are there actually people who haven't done this???)

29)We panic for our lives when there's a quarter of an inch of snow on the ground.


30)Venison is a favorite meat, on par with barbeque. It shows up at church potlucks, family potlucks, any time there are hunters in the vicinity.


31) When it rains, everyone is not only smiling, but they come out of their houses and have a party.(I'm quite serious. It really does happen.)


32)Everyone says "y'all." And "all y'all."


33) Also, ma'am and sir.


34)A sad Texan once prayed, "I wish it would rain - not so much for me, cause I've seen it - but for my 7-year-old."


35) You can properly pronounce Corsicana, Ennis, Waxahachie, Decatur, San Antonio, Corpus Christi, Waco, Abilene and Amarillo. Not mention Brownsville.


36) You listen to the weather forecast before choosing your outfit for the day.


37) You see so many pick-up trucks, you never thought that other places could have a car population that is largely made up of sedans.

38) If you're not on the (very fast) highway, the other people in the cars wave. It's called "friendliness."


39) Men and boys open doors and offer chairs to women and girls. It's called "politeness."


40) "Spring" is the grass being green for two weeks. Then it's brown. For the rest of the year.


41)You can make a U-turn anywhere you feel like it.


42)School is canceled for the Stock Show & Rodeo.


43) Texans have two political leanings: Conservative and Austin. 


44)On any given day, there's something someone's allergic to somewhere in the air.


45)It's called a bluebonnet. Leave it alone, or angry Texas Rangers will cart you away to jail and sit outside pointing a rifle at you through the bars throughout the night. Then, you will be hanged at dawn. 


46) School was canceled because (no lie) the entire school was sick.


47) The homeless people have bilingual signs.


48) Yes, by Mexican, we mean Tex-Mex. (Of course, where I come from, there's some almost-real Mexican food. Just without the iguana.)


49)You go the gas station and there is a sign in the window that says "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service!"


50) Remember the Alamo!